Reaching the other side

 

For those who have been following me on Caring Bridge, this is just a more detailed update.  Here I am almost three months after surgery and it has felt like a lifetime.  The up and downs of recovery from major surgery were exacerbated by fighting an infection.  We had so many more trips back and forth to Maryland than was expected, not to mention the second hospital stay due to infection.  I have spent 3 months just focused on "What next", getting through each day and trying to do as much as I can for myself before the "tired stick" hit and I would need to nap again.

Tuesday I was waiting for my CT appointment and hanging out in the courtyard at NIH with Steve.  The very same courtyard I could see from my room after surgery.  I remember looking out at budding trees and hoping there would be a time that I could sit and enjoy the peace and the trees and not be in pain.  Three months later I have made it.  

The doctor took the last drain out and took me off from antibiotics and I can tell you the feeling of freedom after was euphoric!  I cannot express just how limiting having the drain and pick line have been, from the need to have assistance with wrapping and covering everything before I shower.  To the need to watch the drain didn't catch on things, like cupboard handles and door nobs, and the pain it caused when it did catch and pull at the stitches holding it in. I couldn't bend over and stand up without it pulling in and out and it hurt like crazy when I lay flat then got back up.  Finally having the drain out and able to move has been so freeing.  I'm walking better and able to put my own shoes on and do chores that involve bending down.  I can start doing gentle yoga again!

Now I just need to work on strength and energy levels, but I have a lot of hope that that will start improving more now the infection is gone.  I have already improved a great deal with how far I can walk before needing a rest, and it was very exciting to be able to walk with Steve to get dinner instead of sleeping at the hotel while he ran to get food.  

Here I am looking up at the room I was looking down from 3 months ago.  I have made it to the other side!  For the first time since this cancer nightmare started in November I feel I can start focusing on life and not just myself.  I can plan for future vacations, and going back to work, and a return to living for more than just fighting through cancer surgery and recovery.  

After flying home Wednesday I had High hopes of joining the Running Lab crew for the Global Running day event and walking a bit with friends.  Unfortunately after 3 days of walking through airports, the hospital for various appointments and downtown Bethesda my energy ran out and I just needed to sleep.  So I need to be patient with my still healing body and accept that I won't always have the energy I need to do everything I want.  I just need to take and rejoice in the victories I have.  See you in the woods my friends.  My next goal is to hike the Kenoshia trail at Brighon rec.  As always I will try to share pictures of my peace and joy on the trail and in life.